Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
