her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize