the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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