Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
