Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
