Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
