dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
