on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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