so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
