Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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