you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
