I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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