I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
this will be a night to untag.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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