Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
