oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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