i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
and you fell through a lawn chair
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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