Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I have post one night stand depression
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
