Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
