just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
