He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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