I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize