I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
