i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she peed on how many people?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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