Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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