Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
