It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize