so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
