Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
