You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
