why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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