You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
