YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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