guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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