You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
