its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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