Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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