Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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