you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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