We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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