Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
