So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
