Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize