That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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