then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
