i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize