You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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