summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
