so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
