All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
