if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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