Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
