I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
