everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
