And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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