so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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