brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
