i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
