Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
